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Santa Beau
by beau Smith
The big day is pretty much here depending on when you find time to read this. I’m talking about Christmas, of course.
As I write this, the snow is spitting much like I do when reality shows pop up on TV, and the winds are a blowing making everything look very Christmas-like. I took a long walk this morning and even though it was pretty cold, it felt really good. It’s even better when I take Cobb on patrol in the evenings because all the lights and town decorations are up.
I have to comment that this year I did a bang-up job decorating the tree here at the ranch, even though I was very late getting it put up. I’m not real sure what it was that I did to make it look good, but it worked. I’ve gotten lots of compliments on it and that’s a good thing for a big ego like me.
My shopping is nearly done. Still a few things left, but nothing that I’ll have to rush around for. one of the really fun things for me is getting stuff to put in the kids stockings. Granted, they’re all grown men now, but they really look forward to all the goofy stuff I put in their stocking. a lot of of it is to amuse and some of it to torment them. I’m good at that.
The holiday season so far has been full of some fun stuff such as meeting buddies of mine for beers at local eateries and bars, my long suffering wife, Beth has put up with all my normal Christmas traditions that I’ve made up. I think that’s why the kids all married, moved out as soon as they could, so they wouldn’t have to partake in my insanity. Can’t say I blame them, but I’m sure I will anyway.
Speaking of Christmas Decorations, we have one here at the ranch that’s actually pretty creepy. VooDoo Santa.
VooDoo Santa is a wind up Santa Claus that we’ve had for well over twenty years. He has a shifty look in his beady eyes and you never know when he’s enjoying you and trying to creep you out. Example: Back in 1989 during the Christmas holidays I was laying on the couch late in the evening, in fact the clock read five minutes until midnight. I was lying there enjoying TV bathed in the light of the Christmas tree. all of a sudden, VooDoo Santa starts twisting and turning and playing his tinkling little Christmas song at the wrong speed and looking pretty odd as he does it. I looked up shocked and also saw that the clock was at exactly midnight.
Just as unexpectedly as he started up he stopped. I calmed down a bit and slid the 9mm pistol that I keep under the couch cushion back in place. (You never know who is gonna try and come down your chimney…) I worked up the courage to check VooDoo Santa out and made sure his wind up crucial was all the way down. Figured it was just jarred into action or something. While I was up I figured I might as well call it a night, so I turned out the lights and locked the doors and started walking down the hall. then I heard it again.
I looked up on the shelf and there was the fat man in red doing his spooky little dance and playing that off crucial song again. He stopped as soon as I looked at him. He’s difficult like that. Needless to say, I shoved him in a sack and he has been there ever since, until this Christmas. I figured that enough time had passed and the little turd had learned his lesson being in solitary for a few years. I was wrong.
The other night, late, as I was going to bed, he did it again. this time I vow he had a lot more of an attitude about it. He was even creepier than before and his little song was even a lot more “nails on a chalkboard-like”. What did I do?
I ran down the hall, locked the bedroom door and stayed there. I wasn’t gonna mess with the bearded little tormentor. After a lot more than ten years in the hole he was badder than ever. So now he keeps his place on the shelf as his turf. He dances and casts his stink-eye whenever he wants and I do my best to stay out of his way. A strong man knows when to pick his battles. this one aint’ mine.
I’ve enjoyed It’s A terrific Life with Jimmy Stewart as I have for many, lots of years. I still think it’s one of the best motion pictures ever and really shows off the terrific acting of Jimmy Stewart and what a true master director Frank Capra was. The cam work of that film is really terrific and something that any individual studying film must really look at.
My beloved Chicago Bears haven’t done real well this year, but we can still spoil some fun for some other teams and we did beat those stinkin’ green Bay Packers, so I’m happy.
I examined and told you about the motion picture SKINWALKERS with my dream girl, Rhona Mitra, before. Well, it’s on DVD and it’d make a best Christmas gift for you or any individual like you. SKINWALKERS is a modern day western/monster motion picture that is loads of fun. Stan Winston did all the make up SFX and the best part, unlike will Smith’s I Am Legend, there’s no CGI. These werewolves are real actors and stunt people doing what comes manly.
There is a terrific shoot out in the main street of this “any Town” USA and in a hospital. terrific character actor Barbara Gordon plays a grandmother in this film and she is the main attraction in this main street shoot out. Her part in this gunfight is a new classic as she holds off werewolf/bikers behind a post office jeep with twin 44 magnums while her grandson reloads for her.
SKINWALKERS is filled with extraordinary babes. Rhona Mitra, of course, but it also boasts having Sarah Carter and the exotic Natassia Malthe. know that this motion picture is just what it’s meant to be. It’s not built up as a cutting edge A-List movie, but also know that it’s not a low-cost looking B-Movie. The photography is exceptional as is the directing. It’s monster motion picture fun with a terrific idea of the hat to westerns.
Most monster motion pictures take place during the night. often making a motion picture hard to see, but with SKINWALKERS, a lot of all the action takes place in broad daylight and it’s a refreshing change of pace.
Buy this movie, rent this move, but a lot of importantly SEE this movie. It’ll make a terrific bit of fun to enjoy over the holidays.
Who else can fill Christmas with VooDoo Santas and werewolves…Me…that about sums it there, eh?
I hope all of you have the best Christmas ever. think of me and I’ll tell you I’m thinking of you (as far as you know.) and somewhere you’ll hear the sound of bells being rung. (Me clobbering those that didn’t get me a great gift.) So deck those halls and any individual that ain’t got the Christmas spirit.
Merry Christmas, from all of us here at The flying Fist Ranch!
Beau Smith
The flying Fist Ranch
www.flyingfistranch.com